


Foxes Under Saturn

by yuuki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Lots of Cursing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Olympics, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Rejection, Sakusa and Atsumu are terrible friends, Stargazing, Unrequited Love, and then NOT rejection, frenemies to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28514778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuuki/pseuds/yuuki
Summary: And Kiyoomi said, “I think I’m in love with you.”Atsumu scuffed the sidewalk with his shoe, and Kiyoomi wondered what he was thinking. Maybe he’d say something like, ‘yeah, me too. I think I’m in love with you, too.’Instead, Atsumu lightly tapped his shoe against Kiyoomi’s. “Dude,” he said, “that’s cute. I’m flattered.”
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 36
Kudos: 391





	Foxes Under Saturn

Kiyoomi shouldn’t have cared that Atsumu’s hand was resting on his shoulder. It was just a hand; no one else even seemed to notice. 

He could see their reflections in the windows of Osamu’s kitchen, and Kiyoomi struggled to recognize the boy staring back at him. His curls were messier than normal and he was slouching against Atsumu. Atsumu’s cheeks were rosy from his laughter and his mouth was curled like he was constantly on the verge of breaking into a smile. 

They were at Osamu’s house to celebrate making the Olympic National Team. He was dragged here by Ushijima, who said it was mandatory they attend. Kiyoomi was pretty sure Motoya told him to say that. 

This late into the night nearly everyone at the party was drunk. Alcohol bottles were lined up on the counter like an army, most of them empty. 

All Kiyoomi could think about was getting home and putting on some thick socks so he could slide around on his wooden floors. Maybe he’d invest in a kotatsu. His aunt and uncle had one in their home, and they used to joke that Kiyoomi would only come visit to sit under it and eat snacks with Motoya. 

He watched the crowd of the party as he lost himself in his thoughts about owning a kotatsu. Bokuto was lecturing Hinata about something while Kageyama hovered close by, and it was hard to miss the way Kageyama kept shooting Bokuto’s husband admiring glances. 

“Look at him,” Atsumu whispered into Kiyoomi’s ear. “He’s all fanboyin’ over Kaashi-kun when he’s an Olympic class setter himself.” 

Kiyoomi snorted and ignored the urge to rub at his ear, which was tingling and hot where Atsumu’s voice touched it. 

“He does the same thing with you,” Kiyoomi said. 

Atsumu smiled and leaned into Kiyoomi. “Yeah, but who can blame him?” 

“Dumbass,” said Kiyoomi, shoving his elbow into Atsumu’s ribs. Atsumu hissed and smacked Kiyoomi’s arm, but he didn’t move away or take his hand off his shoulders. 

Kiyoomi settled against the counter and tuned back into the party. 

Atsumu followed his gaze with such accuracy that it was almost scary, making remarks about the various couples gathered around. “I feel like I’m watching my dads flirt,” he said about Aran and Kita, who were talking in a corner. 

“What about them?” Kiyoomi asked, nodding to Iwaizumi and Kuroo. This was something they did at almost every party they attended together; they’d find a quiet place and make fun of everyone in their field of vision. 

“That’s like if my cool rich uncle and his weird stoner husband came back from a vacation in America,” said Atsumu. 

Kiyoomi laughed under his breath. “Isn’t Iwaizumi-san married?” 

“Yeah, to his weird stoner husband.”

Kiyoomi thought about stomping on Atsumu’s foot. His aunt would be proud of his restraint.

He watched Kiryuu and Hyakuzawa bond over their taste in music. Kiyoomi was just thankful that he was separated from the crowd, even if the noise of the party reached the kitchen where he and Atsumu were hiding with Osamu and Suna.

Subconsciously, Kiyoomi pressed himself closer to Atsumu. 

The only people missing from the celebration were Yaku and Motoya. Yaku was in Russia with his fiancé, last Kiyoomi heard. 

Motoya was driving through a blizzard on his way to a winter retreat with his girlfriend near Mount Fuji. He kept texting Kiyoomi about how awful the roads were and about winter sports, as if complaining to his cousin would solve anything. 

Atsumu had been reading the conversation over Kiyoomi’s shoulder, eventually yanking Kiyoomi’s phone out of his hands so he could talk to Motoya about snowboarding himself. He completely stole their conversation. It was no surprise, really; Atsumu had that effect on people, where he could make friends with anyone he met.

Like earlier this year, when Atsumu gifted everyone on the MSBY team with flowers from his parents’ garden. Kiyoomi told him that he hated flowers because of the pollen, hiding the fact that he was pleased to receive them. Atsumu just gave him a pained smile before walking away. 

It wasn’t like he could put them in his apartment, since Atsumu gave Kiyoomi lilies and Kiyoomi’s cat wouldn’t appreciate that. He put them outside on the balcony instead. Kiyoomi’s aunt and uncle later came to visit with Motoya and wouldn’t stop remarking what a considerate boy Atsumu was. 

Kiyoomi’s family loved Atsumu. He couldn’t help but think that his family loved him more when Atsumu was around, too. 

He stopped paying attention to the noise of the party so he could look over Osamu’s snowy yard. Lights glinted off the snow and made it sparkle, and for some reason Kiyoomi thought of The Nutcracker. He kind of wanted to go outside and make a snowman, the way he and his older siblings used to when he was a kid. There was one time his older brother rolled Kiyoomi into a snowball. It was awful. 

His mind was pleasantly warm from the alcohol, and Kiyoomi felt himself smile a little easier at the stupid jokes Atsumu made. Atsumu, the only sober one present, seemed to pick up on this because he gave Kiyoomi crooked grins and made terrible jokes more frequently. 

“I don’t get why Motoya-kun’d go to fuckin’ Mount Fuji for snow when there‘s snow here,” said Osamu, his words so awfully slurred that Kiyoomi had a hard time understanding him between that and his accent. His cheeks were redder than Atsumu’s, though that’s probably because Osamu was actually drunk. Kiyoomi’s not sure how many drinks Osamu’s had, but he was definitely past the point of having good judgment; he had bruises on his neck, and Suna kept tossing him not-so-subtle looks. That wasn’t their relationship earlier, or maybe Kiyoomi just wasn’t as observant as he thought he was. 

“A vacation with your girlfriend is better than a party with a bunch of men,” Suna pointed out. He was the only other person who knew Motoya almost as well as Kiyoomi did. Maybe just as well, since Motoya had no problem making conversation and oversharing about himself. 

“Unless you like men,” said Osamu. 

“Ya think Motoya-kun woulda been a skateboarder in a different life?” Atsumu pondered, his fingers now absentmindedly tapping Kiyoomi’s shoulder blades. 

“Dude, what?” laughed Osamu, grabbing the edge of the counter for support. 

“I think you meant snowboarder,” Kiyoomi quietly offered, wondering if Atsumu was still thinking about that conversation earlier. 

Atsumu snapped his fingers and set his bottle of Ramune on what little space was left on the counter. “Yeah!” he said. “A snowboarder!” 

“I think he would’ve just been an accountant,” said Suna. 

“Is snowboarding a sport?” asked Osamu.

Kiyoomi frowned at him, wondering how it was possible that Osamu became the stupider twin when he was drunk. Or maybe the bar was already so low that all Atsumu needed to do to seem smart was stay sober. 

“Nah,” said Suna, “can’t be. All they do is slide down hills on a big sled. They don’t have to do anything but breathe and have good balance. That can’t be a sport.” 

“Dude, ya get paid to stand on a court and whack a ball over a net,” said Atsumu. He laughed with his lips stretched over the bottle of Ramune that magically appeared back in his hands, the marble clinking against the glass loudly. 

“Yeah, and? So do you. What’s your point?”

Kiyoomi pinched the bridge of his nose and poured himself another shot of sake. He decided that he’d have to appreciate Motoya more when he came back. 

“My point is that snowboarding is hard,” said Atsumu. “Like, ya gotta be careful to land yer tricks ‘n’ shit, ‘cause you can get serious injuries if ya fuck up. That’s gotta be a lot of, like, pressure or whatever.”

“Aren't there the same risks in volleyball?” Kiyoomi asked. 

“Sure, if ya fuckin’ suck,” said Atsumu. 

Kiyoomi sighed and stepped away from Atsumu, the skin on his shoulders tingling and cold. He walked out onto Osamu’s porch where the music of the party faded away, and he kicked some snow around with his foot. He left his shoes in the house, and now his wet socks were making his toes freeze. It felt nice, like some of the drunken haze in his mind had cleared up. 

It didn’t take long before Atsumu came out to join him. He gave Kiyoomi a blanket, a pair of slippers, and a small smile as he shivered against the cold. The sight of it made Kiyoomi forget that he was supposed to be cold, but he slid his feet into the slippers regardless. He didn’t tell Atsumu thank you, not even when Atsumu helped Kiyoomi wrap the blanket around his shoulders. And Kiyoomi must’ve been really drunk, because he swore that the lights bouncing off Atsumu’s hair turned it into a blond halo. 

“Samu and Suna’re in there,” Atsumu said. “Samu’s had a crush on Suna since forever, ‘n’ he’s finally makin’ a move. I don’t wanna ruin it by bein’ a third wheel.” 

Kiyoomi nodded in understanding, huddling under his blanket like a babushka. 

Atsumu groaned, but he was smiling so Kiyoomi didn't take it seriously. He leaned against the porch railing, his shoulder bumping into Kiyoomi’s. “Why can’t we have winter without the cold?” he asked, words turning into billowing clouds as his breath fogged up. His voice was scratchy and low, and Kiyoomi had heard girls say it was attractive. 

“It wouldn’t be winter, then,” Kiyoomi said, fingers aching from the cold. He turned his head to look over his shoulder into the kitchen. Suna and Osamu seemed to have disappeared into another part of the house. 

In the window’s reflection, he and Atsumu were nothing more than a distorted and glowing pair against walnut counters and warm yellow lights. Kiyoomi couldn’t tear his eyes away from how they looked together. 

Atsumu laughed. Kiyoomi could feel the vibrations from it on his arm and on the porch railing. “Yeah,” he said. “It’d be nice, though.” 

Kiyoomi didn’t think so. He liked the cold, because he liked thick socks and kotatsus. He liked it when his cat laid on his lap and they soaked up each other’s body heat. That was all he cared about. 

“Wanna go for a walk, Omi-kun?” Atsumu asked, already stepping away from the railing as if he expected Kiyoomi to say yes. 

“Why?” Kiyoomi called after him as Atsumu opened the sliding doors to the kitchen. 

Atsumu paused. He tossed Kiyoomi a smile, his eyes scrunching up as he gave Kiyoomi a look one would reserve for someone they cared about. “Why not?”

Kiyoomi took a second to mentally prepare himself for a walk before he followed Atsumu back into the house. They passed various people that Kiyoomi didn’t have the mental capacity to keep track of, stopping only to put on their boots and coats. Atsumu waited patiently as Kiyoomi fumbled with his boots, offering him a steady hand when he almost lost his balance and fell over. 

“Where are you two goin’?” Aran asked. He and Kita were supposedly staying sober alongside Atsumu, but Kiyoomi was pretty sure he saw them both sneak drinks when they thought no one was looking. 

“You’re not driving home, are you?” Kita asked, eyes narrowing at Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi didn’t respond, caught unaware by the fact that Kita spoke directly to him. 

Atsumu grinned at Kita. He was the only person Atsumu deferred to, as if Kita was his older brother. Kiyoomi could understand the sentiment, because Kita reminded Kiyoomi of his older brother. 

“Nah!” said Atsumu. “Just goin’ for a walk. ‘Sides, I’ll drive Omi-kun home when he wants me to.” 

“Have fun!” Bokuto yelled after them as they walked out. 

Kiyoomi rubbed his hands together to try and warm them up. Being drunk was not a desirable feeling and Kiyoomi hardly ever drank, but he did enjoy the way it made him warm and care less about the things he didn’t like. 

Somewhere along the way, Atsumu’s hand ended up back on Kiyoomi’s shoulder. Kiyoomi didn’t shake it off. 

“Here,” Atsumu said. He stopped and Kiyoomi paused next to him, snow crunching under their boots. Kiyoomi drew little patterns in the snow with his foot.

It didn’t snow much in Osaka. He’d appreciate what little they had while he still could. 

Atsumu grabbed Kiyoomi’s hands. His first instinct was to snatch his hands away, but he was curious as to what Atsumu was doing. 

Atsumu tugged his own mittens off and carefully slid them onto Kiyoomi’s hands. Kiyoomi stared at his hands cradled in Atsumu’s, and he looked back up to glare at him. 

“Take them back,” he said, already tugging the mittens off. “Your hands need to be in better condition than mine.” 

Atsumu heaved a dramatically wistful sigh as he put his hand between Kiyoomi’s shoulder blades. “Sure,” he said, “but then ya would’ve complained about havin’ cracked and dry hands, and it’s my job to look after ya, after all.” 

Kiyoomi pretended to be irritated with him, not wanting to admit just how warm Atsumu’s mittens were. He tugged the mittens back down. 

The streets got busier as he and Atsumu moved further away from Osamu’s house and closer to the shops in the city. Most of the people bustling around at this hour were tourists, and Kiyoomi thought some choice things about the people roaming about before remembering he was also a people roaming about. He watched families and couples laugh and talk freely around the street food stalls, ignoring the envy clouding his senses at the sight. 

He and Atsumu were locked in their own little world separate from the reality where all this was happening. 

It was a separate reality where Kiyoomi was a different person, not minding when Atsumu’s steadying hand on his shoulders became Atsumu’s comforting arm around his shoulders. Kiyoomi didn’t feel the cold anymore because of the heat spreading across his body from the contact, and he was thankful that he put his mask on before they left so Atsumu wouldn’t see the blush spreading across his cheeks. It was like a bubble had separated them from everyone else, and Kiyoomi could pretend that they had the sidewalk all to themselves.

And Kiyoomi said, “I think I’m in love with you.”

He didn’t try to hide behind his mask or change the subject. 

Atsumu froze before he forced out a breathy little laugh. It materialized in the air. “Really?” he said. “Sakusa Kiyoomi has a crush on me? That's gonna upset a whole lotta people, man.”

Kiyoomi shrugged. Atsumu wasn’t aware of the rift that just opened up behind Kiyoomi’s ribs, but Kiyoomi was acutely aware of it and the way it poked holes into his lungs. 

Atsumu kept walking, not noticing that Kiyoomi stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. His arm fell off Kiyoomi’s shoulders and he turned around, eyebrows quirked to show his confusion. He looked at Kiyoomi for a moment before his expression turned a little more serious, and he took a step closer to Kiyoomi. 

“Are ya bein’ for real?” he asked. They were parting a sea of people around them, and shop lights reflected off of Atsumu’s hair. He didn’t look or sound angry or scared or sad. He didn’t look or sound much of anything. 

“Unfortunately,” Kiyoomi said. He wished he was back at Osamu’s house with the rest of the team, forcing disgusting alcohol down his throat for no other reason than to celebrate and to get drunk with his teammates. He shivered and put his hands in his pockets. He suddenly felt about ten years younger, like a vulnerable teenager whose feelings were shaky and undeveloped. Like he was back in Motoya’s room confessing that he liked boys for the first time. “Who can blame me?” 

Atsumu sucked a deep breath in and looked off to the side at a botanical garden. He scuffed the sidewalk with his shoe, and Kiyoomi wondered what he was thinking. Maybe he’d say something like, _yeah, me too. I think I’m in love with you, too._

Instead, Atsumu lightly tapped his shoe against Kiyoomi’s. “Dude,” he said, gifting Kiyoomi a soft smile. It looked fake. “That’s cute. I’m flattered.”

Kiyoomi struggled to breathe, anger and humiliation flooding his mind at the speed of light. He stared down at his and Atsumu’s feet, at Atsumu’s mittens on his hands. Tried to find the right words. He decided now was a good time to study the way snow had gotten stuck between his shoelaces. “You’re not mad?” he murmured, and it felt like the words were stuck to the roof of his mouth. 

Atsumu shook his head. Grabbed Kiyoomi’s arm. Tugged him down the sidewalk. They were walking again, but with a considerable bit of distance between them now. It was barely three feet, but to Kiyoomi it felt like an ocean. It prickled at his side.

“Nah,” he said. “Why would I be? Y’know, Samu’s gay too.” 

Kiyoomi felt sick. It was like a slap in the face for Atsumu to bring up his gay brother. 

“I think so,” Kiyoomi said, mouth chalky. He wished he drank more to guarantee that he wouldn’t remember any of this come morning. Hell, he didn’t even want to remember that it was happening right now. “Are you suggesting I date him instead?” 

Atsumu’s eyes narrowed as he glanced at Kiyoomi. He looked back straight ahead as he grimaced. “Ew. No,” he said with a laugh. That one sounded forced, too. “‘Sides that, he’s obsessed with Rin-Rin.” 

“Okay,” Kiyoomi said. He should have kept his mouth shut. Atsumu’s mittens felt like they were scratching at Kiyoomi’s skin, and he would’ve yanked them off if that didn’t betray how terribly he was taking this. All he wanted to do was go home, crawl under his covers, and never come out. “It’s getting late. We should probably go home soon.”

“Oh,” Atsumu said, looking between Kiyoomi and the botanical garden then back again. “Okay, sure.” 

They walked back the way they came, retracing their steps in silence. Kiyoomi glanced behind them at their footprints that got mixed and lost in the crowd of strangers’, and it was almost like the night had never happened at all. 

Yeah. That was how it would be. Kiyoomi would pretend the walk out and their conversation never occurred. 

It started snowing on the way back to their apartment complex. It felt like a clean slate. 

-

He remembered the day he fell in love with Miya Atsumu. It was a Tuesday last winter where the sun set earlier than normal and Kiyoomi spent more time locked away in his apartment. 

Atsumu was standing a little too close to Kiyoomi for his liking, but Kiyoomi didn’t move away. Maybe it was because Atsumu smelled good or because he generated enough body heat that the space surrounding him felt a few degrees warmer. Kiyoomi didn’t know. 

“I’ve always liked lookin’ at the stars,” Atsumu said out of nowhere. Kiyoomi glanced over at him to see his head tilted back as his eyes searched for stars, lips slightly parted and tongue poking out. 

Stars didn’t reflect in Atsumu’s eyes. Streetlights did. Kiyoomi didn’t say anything as he turned his attention back to the cars driving past them. 

“Stars don’t really exist in Osaka, huh?” Atsumu continued. He didn’t seem aware that Kiyoomi was the worst person around to start a conversation with. “Back home, me and Samu would go lay out on the trampoline to watch the meteor showers. Ya can’t do that here.” 

Kiyoomi hummed. When he and his siblings would visit their grandma in Venezuela, they’d lay on the roof to stargaze. 

The sky in Osaka matched the sky in Tokyo; velvety blue with a glowing white horizon. The Venezuelan sky was a lot darker and a lot more littered with stars. 

If they drove an hour out of city limits, they’d find a nice spot to go stargazing. It was a neat little place Kiyoomi’s sister showed him. He told Atsumu as much. 

“Really?” Atsumu asked. “Wanna go?” 

“Not now,” Kiyoomi said, scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. “I don’t have a telescope.” 

“If I get a telescope, will you take me?” Atsumu asked. 

Kiyoomi examined his fingernails. He couldn’t really find a reason to decline. “I guess.”

“Cool,” Atsumu grinned at the sky. “I want to see Saturn.”

Kiyoomi looked up at the sky again. Only a few stars were visible, but Kiyoomi would be able to pick out the constellations in any city with any amount of light pollution. 

“That’s Saturn,” he said, pointing to a twinkling yellow dot in the sky. Atsumu tilted his head and stepped closer to Kiyoomi so he could accurately pinpoint the location of Saturn, his hair tickling Kiyoomi’s cheeks. His eyes went wide and a smile stretched over his cheeks, his tongue poking out between his lips as if he wasn’t aware he was doing it. He looked stunned, and he put his hand on Kiyoomi’s arm in excitement. 

For the first time in his life Kiyoomi didn’t feel like burning his clothes at human contact, and he couldn’t figure out why he had never taken Atsumu stargazing before. 

“I wonder what it looks like through a telescope,” he whispered. 

Before he and his siblings cut contact with their parents, Kiyoomi and his dad built a telescope together so they could look at Saturn. It was kind of blurry, but Kiyoomi’s dad told him that it was because the aperture was only four inches. 

“A bigger telescope would give you a clearer view and let you see more things,” Kiyoomi’s dad explained as he held Kiyoomi on his shoulders. Kiyoomi was so young that he didn’t know or care about things like aperture. He just liked looking at the stars. 

“If you show someone Saturn through a telescope it’s kinda like a marriage proposal, huh?” Atsumu asked. “Because it has rings?” 

“If you’re really wanting a proposal that terrible, go for it,” Kiyoomi said. 

Atsumu laughed and stuck his tongue out at Kiyoomi. “No need to be so blunt, Omi-kun!” he said. “My future spouse might love it!” 

“Then why do you need my approval if it’s for her?” Kiyoomi asked, ignoring the way his heart twisted at the image of Atsumu with a wife. 

“Can’t have the guy who showed me Saturn disapprove of my marriage proposal, right?” Atsumu said with a strange look thrown at Kiyoomi. He shoved his hands in his pockets and gave Kiyoomi a small smile. “That would just be disrespectful. How would that look at the wedding?” 

“Implying that I’ll attend your wedding,” Kiyoomi muttered, and he really didn’t like the way he was starting to resent Atsumu’s anonymous future wife. 

“You’ll be there,” Atsumu said, voice firm and confident in his statement. “I need everyone to know that you helped me get married by showing me Saturn.” 

Kiyoomi thought of his brother, and how his brother picked up cigarettes to help him ease his stress. He might understand the habit now. “Don’t give me such credit. I don’t want your wife to blame me for falling in love with you.” 

Atsumu snorted and kicked a rock off the sidewalk. A car drove past, making Atsumu’s hair glow white like the horizon while his jacket matched the night sky. 

“C’mon, Omi-kun,” he said, “let’s go home.”

Let’s go home.

It was a simple statement that wouldn’t have meant anything to a normal person, but something about it made everything in Kiyoomi freeze. His mind was filled with visions of him and Atsumu going grocery shopping and planting flowers in their garden, like they were in some damn Studio Ghibli movie. 

Atsumu said it so casually, as if that was his plan for the evening all along. As if he had sought Kiyoomi out specifically with this in mind. And it was strange how Kiyoomi felt about him now, how he wanted to feel the pressure of Atsumu’s hands on his skin again. 

And he hated it. He hated how Atsumu used to be someone Kiyoomi wouldn’t think about even in passing, only to become one of Kiyoomi’s closest friends. He hated how Atsumu smiled at him and how Kiyoomi found himself wanting to smile back. He hated all of Atsumu’s redeeming qualities that made Kiyoomi want to spend time with him. 

Or maybe Kiyoomi only really hated himself, since he saw Atsumu standing under the streetlights and the first thing he thought was _fuck, he’s pretty._ He hated how easy it was to fall into the trap Atsumu set up. 

He wanted to believe he didn’t like Atsumu. Atsumu went from being a stranger to a teammate to a friend, and Kiyoomi couldn’t like him. 

But he said “let’s go home” like it was obvious they’d go together from the start, and Kiyoomi liked the way it implied they would walk together and take off their shoes together. How it implied that ‘home’ was a place where they existed together. 

Kiyoomi realized he might be a little more fond of Atsumu than he liked as he followed Atsumu down the road and towards home. 

-

Kiyoomi woke up with a nasty hangover the next day. 

He made sure to drink water as soon as he got home last night, but it apparently did nothing to help ease the pounding pain swinging wildly behind his eyeballs. 

He blindly fumbled around on the nightstand for his glasses, putting them on once his hand landed on the frames. He looked over at his nightstand to find a rude note written in his handwriting along with a bottle of Aspirin and a glass of water. 

Kiyoomi snorted before he took the Aspirin and washed it down with his water. 

He dragged himself out of bed and into his shower. He leaned his head against the shower wall to try and trick his brain into thinking he was getting some sleep. 

When he was younger he and his family would go on vacations this time of year. 

There was one time they went to Hawaii. It was terrible. Kiyoomi got sunburned and his sister stepped on a jellyfish. His brother buried Kiyoomi in the sand until Kiyoomi started crying. 

Kiyoomi tried to think of that trip to Hawaii instead of what a complete fool he made of himself last night. He could still hear Atsumu’s voice telling him that Osamu’s gay, could still hear the patronizing _that’s cute, I’m flattered._ It didn’t do anything to help ease the pounding in his head. 

He called Motoya last night to tell him what happened. Motoya just offered to come back home early so they could burn Atsumu’s official magazine over his stove. Kiyoomi politely declined, mostly because he didn’t even have Atsumu’s magazine and because that was a fire hazard. 

He went and made himself breakfast once he was done showering. His cat watched him, chirping quietly when he moved around her. 

He’d barely sat down to eat when someone knocked on his door. He ignored it because no one in their right mind would ever come visit him and he would really rather not speak to anyone at the current moment. The knocking persisted. 

Kiyoomi angrily opened up the door. It was just Atsumu, who gave Kiyoomi a sloppy grin. Kiyoomi shut the door in his face. 

“Hey!” Atsumu yelled on the other side. “Hey, Omi-kun! What the fuck! Open the door!” 

Kiyoomi’s headache had suddenly just gotten a lot worse. He picked at the skin around his fingernails before opening the door again, letting Atsumu into his home. 

Atsumu took off his shoes and put on the slippers he kept stashed away at Kiyoomi’s house. It was only the third time he’d come over, but he kept them there ‘just in case.’

Atsumu walked into Kiyoomi’s kitchen to wash his hands. When he was done he went into the dining room, picking up his cat. She turned in little circles on his lap as he waited for Kiyoomi to come back. 

Kiyoomi wanted to throw Atsumu out of his apartment. He wanted to tell Atsumu to never talk to him again. 

Instead, he joined him at the table, taking a bite of his now lukewarm breakfast. 

It wasn’t awkward like he thought it would be. 

Atsumu cleared his throat and tapped his fingers on the table. “So, Omi-kun,” he said. He wasn’t looking at Kiyoomi, focused intently on his cat. “Do ya wanna go for a hike with me?” 

“What?” Kiyoomi said, a billion thoughts swirling in his head all at once. 

“I said-“ 

“I know what you said,” he cut Atsumu off. _“Why?”_

Atsumu’s tapping on the table sped up as he became more anxious. “Well, I figured you’d be all hungover, ‘n’ going out and getting exercise used to help me with my hangovers.” 

“I'm not you,” Kiyoomi said. He gathered his dishes and washed them in the sink under scalding water like it was the most interesting thing in the world, his knuckles turning red and itchy. He remembered the way Atsumu’s mittens felt on his hands last night, and he grabbed a clean sponge to scrub the residual sensation away. “I don’t want to go.” 

Kiyoomi heard the soft thump of his cat landing on the floor along with the scrape of his chair moving. He felt more than heard Atsumu’s presence behind him, and Kiyoomi involuntarily tensed up. 

“C’mon, Omi-kun,” Atsumu pleaded. He put his hand on Kiyoomi’s arm, and Kiyoomi vehemently stepped away so that it fell off. His skin burned where Atsumu’s touch lingered. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he said, rubbing at the spot Atsumu’s hand touched. 

Atsumu sighed in a shuddering sort of way, and Kiyoomi turned to glare at him. He expected Atsumu to meet Kiyoomi’s glare with a glare of his own, and then they’d launch into an awful yelling match and wouldn’t talk to each other for two weeks. That was how their relationship went, simply because Kiyoomi was an inconsiderate dick and Atsumu was a self absorbed bitch. 

Kiyoomi didn’t expect to see Atsumu staring down at his feet with a look of regret as he tugged the skin off his lips. 

Kiyoomi took a deep breath and let it out. He gripped the edge of the sink as he tried and failed to steady his swirling vision. “Where?” he grit out. He was unused to compromising his shitty personality for others, and he hoped that Atsumu appreciated the sacrifice Kiyoomi was making. 

Atsumu gave Kiyoomi a weak smile. “A while ago ya mentioned this place to go stargazing,” he began. 

Kiyoomi looked at his scratched up knuckles. He rubbed his thumb over the space where he wore them particularly raw, little beads of blood popping up. “Okay,” he said. 

He hated the way Atsumu immediately perked up, his little smile growing in size and genuinity. “Really?” Atsumu said. “Fuck, okay, do I need to bring anything?” 

Kiyoomi hated him. He really did. “A lantern,” he said, pressing a paper towel to his knuckles. “Blankets.” 

Funny how Atsumu asked Kiyoomi out and yet Kiyoomi was the one planning the outing. 

Atsumu bounced on the balls of his feet, chewing at his lips. A crooked smile replaced the kicked-puppy look he had earlier. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” 

“Okay,” Kiyoomi said. He didn’t have the heart to tell Atsumu that they’d need to leave later this evening, and that he’d just send Atsumu away if he came back too early. 

Atsumu left Kiyoomi’s apartment with a happy little smile. He watched him leave before he turned to look out his kitchen window, watching thick snowy clouds roll by. 

-

Kiyoomi shivered and wrapped the thick comforter tighter around his body. 

Atsumu, to his credit, actually packed useful objects. He brought a tent (“just in case”), sleeping bags, comforters, and pillows. He also brought bug deterrent, which he was busy setting up currently. Kiyoomi tried telling him that they didn’t need it since it was January and there were no bugs. Atsumu didn’t listen. 

The drive over here was longer than Kiyoomi remembered. Maybe it was because Kiyoomi had so much anxiety driving Atsumu’s old car that he was unable to focus on the beautiful scenery passing by their windows, or maybe it was because Atsumu kept excitedly tapping Kiyoomi’s arm like a child whenever he saw something he liked. 

Years ago, when Kiyoomi came up here with his sister, they saw a fox in the trees. 

“Foxes are good luck, did you know, Kiyoomi?” his sister said, her voice quiet and soothing as to not spook the creature. 

Kiyoomi took that fox as a sign and told her he liked boys once they had reached their little spot. His sister just looked at him then smiled and messed up his hair, handing him a lantern. “Let me meet your boyfriend someday,” she said, and that was that. 

Now his sister was covered in tattoos and had short hair and lived in Hawaii with her girlfriend. Kiyoomi and his brother were the only people in their family who still talked to her. 

Kiyoomi gazed into the trees, searching for the shape of a fox. 

“Hey, Omi-kun, scooch over,” Atsumu said as he stepped into Kiyoomi’s field of view, taking his boots off so he could crawl onto the pile of sleeping bags and blankets he made. Kiyoomi didn’t move. His body heat was gathered around him from being perched here for so long, and he didn’t want to hand that over to Atsumu so easily. 

Atsumu didn't sigh or berate Kiyoomi for his disobedience. He just grabbed the edge of Kiyoomi’s comforter and fit himself against his side, their shoulders brushing. Kiyoomi felt sick, but he still didn't move. 

“So, Omi-kun,” said Atsumu, rubbing his hands together. He wiggled his toes inside of his thick socks. Kiyoomi awkwardly pulled Atsumu’s mittens out of his pocket and laid them on Atsumu’s lap. He’d been searching for ways to give back those mittens all day. 

Atsumu froze before he tentatively slid his mittens on. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I brought a telescope.” 

Kiyoomi scooched away so he could look at Atsumu more easily, and the cold from the ground seeped into his bones. Atsumu’s eyes were fixed firmly on the sky where evening stars were beginning to glitter, and Kiyoomi didn’t know what to think. 

“Set it up, then,” he said, voice more calm and collected than he really felt. 

Atsumu gave a strained smile before lacing his boots back up so he could set up the telescope. Kiyoomi observed him, wondering if Atsumu knew the first thing about setting up telescopes. 

Atsumu turned around and gave Kiyoomi a sheepish smile. “Omi-Omi, how does this thing work?” 

Kiyoomi silently got up and examined the large box Atsumu brought up here. He wasn’t sure how he missed the box earlier when they were unloading the trunk of Atsumu’s car. 

The telescope was not a bad one by any means. It was a Celestron, which Kiyoomi had nothing against. He handed Atsumu the directions for building it and told him to read it out loud so Kiyoomi can set it up. 

Once it was all built, Atsumu gave Kiyoomi an excited smile. “Show me Saturn, Omi-kun.”

Atsumu was lucky. Saturn was only visible during select times of the year, and Atsumu made it just on the brink before it disappeared again. 

Kiyoomi frowned, teeth grinding and heart beating angrily in his chest. “What are you doing?” he asked. There was no way Atsumu forgot that conversation they had last year about studying Saturn, so obviously he knew what the implications of this outing were. He knew how Kiyoomi felt about him, too. He knew what he was doing. 

Kiyoomi couldn’t stand the idea that Atsumu was just fucking with him. It made his ribs hurt. 

Atsumu gave Kiyoomi a confused look. “I’m waitin’ for ya to show me Saturn.” 

Kiyoomi glared at him. “You know that’s not what I meant,” he said. “Why are you doing this? It’s cruel, even for you.” 

“...What?” 

“I fucking told you I was in love with you last night and you didn’t say anything,” Kiyoomi said, frustration and embarrassment making his skin hot and itchy. “And now you’re hanging out with me like nothing happened and asking me to show you Saturn after everything you said?” 

Atsumu’s eyes were open wider than Kiyoomi’s ever seen them. “Kiyoomi,” he said, voice unsteady. “Just show me Saturn.” 

Kiyoomi furiously focused the telescope as he searched the evening sky for Saturn. He considered calling Motoya up so they could go and purchase Atsumu’s magazine and burn it on the stove. 

“There,” Kiyoomi said, stepping away from the telescope once he brought Saturn into focus. It was a gorgeous sight, and Kiyoomi hated to admit that it actually worked in calming him down a little. 

Atsumu pat Kiyoomi’s shoulder and smiled. Kiyoomi scowled and turned away from his touch, wrapping himself back up in the comforter. 

“Quit. You’ve already made it clear that you don’t like me like that,” he said, and he really didn’t like how quiet and shaky his voice was. 

“It really has rings, huh?” Atsumu whispered. He was holding onto Kiyoomi’s blanket despite Kiyoomi threatening him if he didn’t let go. “Like, I knew it did because that’s what everyone told me, but it’s somethin’ entirely different when you see it for yerself.” 

Kiyoomi crossed his arms and pouted at the sky. 

Atsumu stepped away from the telescope. “Omi-kun, last night you were drunk.” 

Kiyoomi furrowed his eyebrows, already thinking that he knew where this was going. “Yeah, so what? Does that invalidate my feelings?” 

“No, but did you mean it?” 

Kiyoomi blinked at him. “What?” 

“Did you _mean_ it, Kiyoomi?” 

“Of course I fucking meant it,” Kiyoomi snapped. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” 

“But you were drunk,” Atsumu repeated, and he looked lost. 

“So _what?”_ Kiyoomi said. “I confessed to you. It doesn’t matter if I was sober or not. It matters that you fucking left.” 

“It matters to me!” Atsumu nearly yelled, disrupting the peaceful forest around them. He ran a hand through his hair. “How was I supposed to say anything back not knowing if you were bein’ serious or if you’d regret it, or if you’d even remember it?” 

“I remember it and I regret it,” Kiyoomi said, and Atsumu looked like he was about to cry. Usually when Atsumu was at this point in the argument Kiyoomi either pushed him further just to see him cry or left him alone for a few days, but now Kiyoomi didn’t feel that same mean thrill at the sight of tears. Instead, his insides squirm and get tangled up in remorseful knots. “I regret telling you when you clearly don’t know how to deal with it.” 

“If I told you I could deal with it, would you still regret it?” Atsumu asked, his voice volumes lower than it was seconds ago. 

Kiyoomi looked at the sky. He thought of Atsumu bringing him slippers on Osamu’s porch last night, and of Atsumu putting his mittens on Kiyoomi’s hands. He thought of how Atsumu was the only other person his cat liked. He thought of how Atsumu brought his own slippers and toothbrush to Kiyoomi’s house despite hardly ever visiting. 

Everyone had Atsumu pegged as a selfish and entitled jerk, and that was right, for the most part. But he’d also do nice things for others without expecting anything in return, always saying “it’s my job to take care of ya, isn’t it?” as if that was the only reason he did it. 

“No, I wouldn’t,” Kiyoomi told him. 

“Say it, then,” Atsumu said. He was fiddling with knobs on the telescope, and Kiyoomi smacked his hands away to keep him from messing up the settings. “Say what you said last night.” 

“Why?” Kiyoomi said, wrinkling his nose. It was easier to say that he was in love with someone when he had alcohol loosening up his tongue; it was probably the only reason he ever said it in the first place. 

“I can’t believe it unless you say it when you’re sober.” 

Kiyoomi didn’t say anything in return. He went and sat down on the pile of blankets, looking up at the sky. Atsumu stared at him, his expression slowly going from hopeful to defeat. He looked through the telescope with his back to Kiyoomi, and Kiyoomi thought he could hear him sniffling. 

Half an hour passed before Atsumu abandoned the telescope and joined Kiyoomi on the blankets. They sat in silence together. Their knees didn’t touch. Their shoulders didn’t touch. It felt like there was an invisible wall stacked between them. 

Kiyoomi opened up his comforter and offered Atsumu a spot inside. Atsumu glanced at him with red eyes, hesitantly moving under the blankets until the wall disappeared and he was pressed against Kiyoomi. 

And Kiyoomi said, “I’m in love with you.” 

Atsumu sucked in a sharp breath and looked off into the forest. Maybe he was looking for the fox Kiyoomi saw years ago. “Are ya bein’ serious, Omi-kun?”

“Unfortunately.” 

Atsumu gave Kiyoomi a shaky smile and took off the mitten on his left hand so he could hold Kiyoomi’s right hand. He rubbed his thumb over the scratches on Kiyoomi’s knuckles that he gave himself earlier today. His hands were warm against Kiyoomi’s freezing ones. “Cool,” he whispered, shuffling closer to Kiyoomi until he could comfortably lean his head on Kiyoomi’s shoulder. “I’m in love with you, too.”

“Cool,” Kiyoomi repeated, and the world around them went silent with that one word. 

In the trees, he caught the silhouette of a fox. 

**Author's Note:**

> true to omi fashion, he doesn’t say atsumu’s name even once in this fic 
> 
> anyway thank you for readin hope you enjoyed and special thanks to spade for betaing this 😼
> 
> spade


End file.
